Week 3 Failures (Kelsey)

So now it's me who hasn't posted in forever...

Last week was busy and I was quite a bit more social than usual, so it was harder for me to find time to post.  It was also kind of a fail. An accidental fail, but a fail nonetheless.

I didn't run alone at all this week, which was interesting, because up until then, I'd only run alone. Sunday, on my 2.5 easy miles, I had RaeLee with me. I don't have an official 2.5 route, so I figured I would just add some lengths here and there to my 2 mile route. I felt bad having headphones in while running with her, so I ran without. Usually, I weave my headphones around my iPhone so that it stays in the arm strap, but that time I didn't bring them. I learned my lesson. My first problem arose because, little known fact, I have a phobia of fireworks. I hate them. They scare me. But Michigan decided to be awesome and legalize them this year, and apparently everyone is quite excited about that because it's not even close to the 4th yet, and people shoot them off ALL the time, especially when it starts approaching dusk. When I have my headphones in, I can't hear them and they don't bother me. But this particular Sunday, they were quite frequent, and I had no headphones. So that complicated things. Then, as we were returning on one of the random additions, my iPhone fell out of the arm strap straight onto the sidewalk. I picked it up, and it said "No SIM Card." At that point, another large firework went off, so I just decided to call it a day and return back. I have no idea my total distance or time because the fall ruined my odometer tracking for that run, though I'm pretty sure it was short of 2.5 miles.

Tuesday and Wednesday I ran with Stacey, and we ran both routes in their entirety and without too much difficulty. So thankfully, Stacey and I do not equal failure together. 

Thursday, I went to visit my supervisor from my internship this last semester and we ran together at Cascades. I asked if she'd be ready to run 3 miles with me without stopping, and she informed me that she usually runs 6 or 7 miles at a pace of about 8 or 9 minutes per mile. Then I felt sheepish. So we set out to run, and she told me it'd actually be 3.3 miles. However, when we finished, my odometer said we had gone 2.74 miles. She had told me that one loop was 1.5 miles and the other loop was 1.8 miles, however, after we got back, I realized that I had seen a sign that said one loop is 1.3 miles and the other is 1.5 miles, which is where my deficit of 0.3 miles came from. So that was shortened run number 2 of the week.

Friday was crazy busy, so I never ended up getting any real cross training in. And Saturday also ended up being more sleep deprived and busy than I had originally planned for, so I ended up skipping my 5 mile run that day too.

Sunday also turned out to be incredibly busy, but I knew that I couldn't skip two days in a row, especially not for my big run. We went to my sister's house for Father's Day, and the chicken ended up taking longer to cook than anticipated. Had I known how long it was going to take, I would have run before dinner, but I didn't, and we didn't get done eating until 7:20. I needed to run before it got dark out, so I didn't have a whole lot of time to digest before I stretched and left.... man did I learn my lesson.

My 5 mile fail was definitely my biggest fail of the week. My sister lives out more in the country, so I had my first country road running experience. That wasn't too bad, except that my rolling pin was at home and hadn't been utilized since Wednesday, so my calves were barking again. However... that ended up being the least of my problems...

Warning: if you are squeamish or do not like hearing about digestive functions, do not proceed. I have no shame. Or pride. One or the other...

Many in my family were afraid that running 5 miles so soon after eating would cause me to throw up. It turns out it was the opposite end I needed to be worried about. My route included running along two longer country roads that had a little subdivision that was off of the second one. About a tenth of a mile before the subdivision, I started to realize my predicament. For those of you who don't know, and I'm guessing most of you don't (though I'm fairly certain no one actually reads this) I have very finicky bowels. If it's number 1, I have a fair amount of leeway and can hold it for awhile. Not true with number 2. I have little warning before seeking a bathroom is absolutely imperative. It is never a good feeling when you know seeking a bathroom is imperative immediately and the closest restroom is 2.5 miles away and your only transportation is your feet. I forgot to mention that my nephew once again accompanied me on this run on his bike. He sort of knew the neighborhood and thought there might be a porter potty at a house near the back of the subdivision. I told him to lead the way. He sped off, which was not helpful for my predicament. Trying to run fast while also trying not to poop your pants is quite the challenge. We reached the back of the subdivision and alas, there was no porter potty.

At this point, I realized my options were either to call a family member to come pick me up and take me to a restroom, or to knock on a stranger's door, ask if I can use their bathroom, and then proceed to blow it up. I opted for option 1. I called my mom and did my best to tell her where I was and she agreed to come get me.  I promptly realized two things: 1. If I walked towards the entrance to the subdivision, she would find me faster, and 2. If I stopped moving, I was going to lose my "grip." So I awkwardly walked to the front of the entrance in that weird "I need to poop," waddle. I reached the front and was pacing back and forth with JD, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the vehicle. After I had ran/walked/waddled 2.6 miles, I saw a black SUV that I thought was my sister's Expedition, and then it passed me. Then I saw a white car and thought it was my sister's other vehicle. And then it passed me. It felt like eternity before I saw it. It was unmistakable. They had decided to pick me up in, of all the vehicles to choose: the 15-passenger church van. My parents and I had taken a load of kids to camp in it that day. They chose the slowest-driving, roughest-riding, most indiscreet vehicle that they could possibly choose for a mission such as this. And they brought the whole family except my brother-in-law, as if it was some sort of strange, Father's Day family outing. So I climbed in, they put JD's bike in the back, and we were off. It was like it was a scene straight out of Little Miss Sunshine or something. Unbelievable. However, the mission was a success and I made it. 

I got out of the bathroom and decided to finish up my run. This interruption was certainly not planned out in my route, so I just kinda made it up and tried to run for what I thought may be close to 2.4 miles. My odometer got messed up, so I ended up making my dad drive it to see what it actually was, and it was only 2.2 miles, so my 5 mile route ended up being short too. Shortened and also with a large running break in the middle, though I assure you, my heart rate was still up, and I did get the benefit of strengthening different muscles than usual: my rectal muscles and whatever muscles it takes to execute the poop waddle. And I returned with absolutely no dignity left. What an adventure. 

Well, there you have it. My week 3 failures. Though I did decide to make up for my 3 shortened runs by adding on an extra 0.6 miles to my 2 easy miles today. I'm a day behind schedule, but I'll skip the day of rest of be back on track tomorrow. Hopefully this week will be more successful than the previous. Though it did make for some good stories...